bessa...

The more I sit around and not do anything the more I am acutely aware it does not serve me well. My brain is entirely too overactive. I've been rolling around a number of things in my brain none of which are benefiting from the extensive over thinking I am subjecting them to. The more I think about and redefine what will make me happy the more noticeable the holes are in the blueprint that defines my happiness. I feel like I am caught up in this tumultuous place in between holes where I start thinking "well, if hole A was filled then maybe hole B wouldn't be a problem." I know that I can not get caught up in insecurity, I have to shift my mindset to "With work hole A will take care of itself and so will hole B." There are choices I have to make that are going to be difficult but in the end I think they will be what is best for me and keeping that mantra in mind will be important in the coming weeks.

I never want to be happy with settling. I never want to be stagnant. I want to be ever evolving.

anything...

I've enjoyed the past few days of doing nothing, though I think it speaks to how busy I've been that I can't sleep past 8:00AM and I've become increasingly bored as the week has progressed. While I don't regret quitting my job, I do miss certain aspects of it. Customer service can be a thankless task at times, however, I don't mind it. One life lesson my parents drilled into my head at a young age is that in more cases than not, graciousness will serve you far better than almost anything else. This adage holds true even at Starbucks, if only to get your latte faster.

But now it is on to the next big adventure which includes a through cleaning of my apartment, a new job and a new focus on those few nagging tasks I need to take care of in order to get my life back to a point where I can be ok with it again.