DOG

The absolute best part about being awake at 3:30 in the morning is watching DOG: The Bounty Hunter. I will never get enough of this show. Seriously. I don't know what the best part is... Dog's perfectly quaffed hair, Beth's comically large breasts or the endless array of meth dealers that the islands of Hawaii have to offer?

HowManyOfMe.com

There is: 1 person with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

things I miss part deaux...

lazy weekdays...

Since I didn't have school on Monday and John resigned from his job we decided to make the most of our day off and head over to the zoo, along with what seemed like every small child and their parents in the DC metro area. The mission was to see Tai shan, the adorable panda cub. After I spent an eternity photographing the little guy and listening to all the kids yell "PANDA" to get his attention, John and I took off to explore what other creatures the zoo had to offer, including:

Asian Elephants


Beavers


harbor Seals


Sea Lions


Brown Pelicans


Cows


prairie Dogs

and finally:

Scary Snake-Man John

Later that day, we headed over to Roosevelt Island which features this gigantic scary statue of Theodore Roosevelt:

We also saw a bunch of really cute dogs splashing around in the Potomac River:

All in all it was an absolutely wonderful day!

Live free...

This past week I was at home in Pittsburgh with my family. I spent most of my time with my puppers who is now 15 and she recently had surgery to remove some moles and cysts from her body. Its kinda gross stuff that happens to dogs with age, nothing to worry about and she is still in pretty good shape aside from a lot of hearing loss and arthritis. The worst part about the whole surgery is that most of the moles removed were on her face, including one on her lower eyelid. So to keep her from scratching her stiches out she has to wear this giant cone collar, you know the kind that makes any dog look 100% more crazy and 100% more like you should stay very far away from them. The collar is so big she keeps running into things with it and catching it on corners and it really is one of the most pathetic things I have ever seen. Here is my poor dog, limping around only to catch her collar on the corner of couch and in essence clothesline herself and not be able to get out of it on her own. Thankfully though, she only has to wear it for a few more days and then she'll be back to normal and mole free.
Because my little sister and I can't leave well enough alone we utilized my dad's beloved label maker to decorate the cone. I thought my label was funny, however my little sister beats me hands down with "live free." My poor dog. I love her little paws.



In other events this week I spent a lot of time with some very dear friends. Julia and I attempted to make soap very unsuccessfully. I also did not have any fun for one with a "Fun For One!" crochet kit purchased for $1.00. Aliza and I hit GrooveJuice it was alright if not a little boring and stinky, but good to see a few people there. We also hit up a bar in the North Hills, hilarity ensued. Wednesday I hung with Julia again, watched "Memoirs of a Geisha." Thursday I headed over to Paul and Holly's. Paul made us a tasty stir fry and much wine was consumed. Friday I ate sushi with Craig and Meghan. Saturday I headed home on the Greyhound and John met me at the station and I readied myself for school by going out drinking a lot and watching football on Sunday.

Back to Paul and Holly and Craig and Meghan for a moment, indulge me. Although I realize that I am the age my mother got engaged at, it is still excessively bizarre for me to even fathom that people I've know for a really long time are engaged. It is one thing when you meet a person and they are dating someone and they get engaged or they are engaged when you meet them, but Paul I've know for a long time and Craig even longer. Aside from the weirdness of that though, it is excessively nice to see two guys who I have the honor of calling friends find people that make them happy. And the happy is nice too, its not that crazy ridiculous feeling that people go through when they first start dating someone, it is a deeper, more settled, more profound and complete happiness with who they are with. They both wear it well.

And finally, the new Billy Mays (creator of OxyClean, Orange Glow, Ding King, etc) commercial for "The Ball" makes me snicker every time.

hippie...

Hippie You are 42% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 28% Arrogant.

You are the Hippie! Characterized by a strong sense of extroversion, irrationality, gentleness, humility, and a faint scent of marijuana, you no doubt frolic through fields preaching peace and free love! Immediately following that, you then frolic to the hospital with herpes! You are probably either very spiritual or needlessly paranoid about "the man", like most hippies, as a result of your focus on intuition and feelings over cold, brutal logic. You probably enjoy poetry, especially beatnik ultra-liberal crap about how horrible fascism is, even though your suburbanized, sheltered idea of "fascism" is having to pay two dollars per gallon at the gas pump. You are also very, very social. And like any hippie who would have no qualms about hitchiking across the country just to meet some interesting people, you also love to interact with others, even complete strangers. Though I highly doubt they love to interact with you! Because we know most any hippie is peace-loving and humble, it stands to reason that you, as well, are terribly gentle and humble, almost to the point of revulsion. Your carefree attitude of peace and harmony is probably very, very sickening to realists or cynics or anyone who isn't a hippie, to tell the truth. In short, your personality is defective because you are overly emotional, extroverted, gentle, and humble--thus making you an annoying hippie. Now go do your drugs and have sex with filthy bearded men in tye dye shirts. To put it less negatively: 1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational. 2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted. 3. You are more GENTLE than brutal. 4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant. Compatibility: Your exact opposite is the Sociopath. Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Televangelist, and the Robot.

things I miss =

Miss you guys
xoxo

the past few in review...

A list because I am too lazy to write everything out.

• I'm finding little red hairs all over my apartment. I'm still not used to the new color, but I love it. We'll see how the Mominator reacts.
  
• Hanging out with old friends was a bit of a wake up call on certain behaviors I've let slide in the past. Still not sure if I did the right thing.
• The Fellow moved into his new place. I swear right here and now, I meant to help with all of the moving, but one day I sacked out and the other days I was busy. I suck. The Fellow's new place, however does not suck.
• Note to self, take out septum ring before going home at the end of September.
• Old patterns repeat, no one is surprised.
• The store is going well, sold a 900 dollar bag got a 75 cent raise (25 more than I was due.). I now have opening and closing responsibilities. Feeling satisfied about it.
• In the works a SOMP 2008 logo and some sort of tri-fold presentation board.
• School almost done and I can go back to having a life again, wee!
• Dear Friends, I miss you. love, Clare
  

strange things afoot...

Overal an interesting day, to say the least. I walked into work today promptly at 11:00 to discover the store was already open and a group of sort of grungy guys hanging out in the lounge area and Annie talking to the new girls that were hired about not paying attention to the cameras. I asked Annie what was going on, and she blankly looked at me and said "We're filming today, you know... the pilot?"
Nope, I did not know, although I was suddenly really glad I put on makeup and a relatively cute outfift. The crew was there for the whole day and pretty cool, but it was hard finding the zone where I wasn't totally aware of the camera in my face. They asked for dirt on Annie and Garret, I really had none, but I hoped I did a good job. They just need about 15 minutes of interesting to put together a tape and I think they got that, I know I was really self concious and awkward the whole time. There were a whole lot of weird little vingettes that they spawned for TV, like Annie and Garrett fake bickering about handbags, break dancers having a dance-off and me and the other girls being catty about this and that. Although Annie and Garrett bicker nearly daily the other things were totally out of the ordinary, but will probably make for interesting TV since reality TV is probably 15% real.
IF the show works out it would be a HUGE boost for the store, and I think that is really the only reason Annie and Garrett are really pursuing it. My fingers are crossed, if only because I am a reality TV whore and the novelty hasn't worn off yet.

Things with my fellow are going super well and I am happy. I know its still a new thing, but I am still really excited about it.

My mom and little sister are leaving tomorrow for Ecuador for a few weeks. It is really freaking me out. I just hope they are safe and they make the most of their trip, especially my little sister. I think she needs some sort of benchmark moment and I think doing missions work in a thrid world country might just be it. I'm not going to be able to have any contact with them while they are gone and I know I'll be worried sick until they touch down back in Pittsburgh.

find your bliss...

Today in one of my classes, my professor expressed the importance of finding out what makes you happy, grabbing onto it and following it with all your heart. Knowing what is important to you and what you enjoy doing and following that bliss and success will come to you. It is a concept I had heard before, but for some reason today it resonated with me on a deeper level than I had let it before. Maybe because for some reason, now it seems like finding my bliss is a much more tangible option. I'm close to finishing up school, I have a job I like, I'm surrounded by a wonderful community of friends and I have a loving and supportive family.

At the same time though, I can't seem to get past all the little stumbling blocks that keep me firmly entrenched in adolescence. The fact that I have a mental list of "People Who's Existence Annoy Me to a Level that I require Ranting About Them and We Don't Even Live in the Same City And I Probably Really Don't Know Them Except for the Internet" is assuredly a sign of this. I waffle back and fourth on these stupid little things a lot. On one hand I know I am egotistical enough to think that what I think about these people really matters and on the other hand I fully realize the immaturity of it all right down the vaguely clever remarks I quip about people on the list. I think I just *heart* petty, stupid drama for the same reasons people watch soap operas, the entertainment value. Except what makes this different is that these are real people, with real feelings and not scripted characters. I need to remember that.

As to the rest of my life, it's been some ups and some downs with players past and present. Funny how people show up again when you are least ready for it and funny how some disappear when you really wish they wouldn't.

feel the love, the drunken love

Few things make you feel better than this:

(05:44:38) kate: clare - i lvoe you j
(05:44:43) clare: i love you too!
(05:44:53) kate: you're eth aweeeeeeeeeesome
(05:45:09) clare: no, you're teh awesome!
(05:46:47) kate: nno you are
(05:47:20) kate: i are teh mizzing i
(05:47:20) clare: no! you!
(05:47:21) kate: u
(05:47:24) kate: nu-uh!
(05:49:16) kate: ive got the dunrjk hiccips

I are teh mizzing you too, HLM

nostalgia...

awww. pgh. w00t.

real quick... i'll prolly edit this laterz...

I tried finding a picture of me and Kate with our septum rings in full glory, however I couldn't find one so you'll all have to settle for this old school ultra cutesy one.

I stretched up my piercing today, not much just one gauge thicker and though it doesn't hurt a lot it is nice to have a bit of pain there. The new retainer feels clunky in my nose and that with the pain is a nice reminder of the promises made with the piercing and a connection to the past. It is almost a year later and funny how little the time seems until I sit back and take stock of what has actually taken place. Kate's taken off across the country, I've gotten back in school and she and I are miles more the wiser.

I miss my HLM, but here's to the future and never forgetting the past.

the future of the pharmacology industry rests in his hands...

Normally, I can't say I'm one to raise a big old stink in a public place, but when the reputation of someone whom I consider a very close friend is called into question, I can't keep quiet. While he doesn't need a single person to defend him, I had to say my piece. Alan, if anything is one of the most polite and respectable people I know, and though this is besides the point, a damn fine dancer. Without even having to hear his side of the story I know the offended party is blowing everything entirely out of proportion. I hope this drama blows over as soon as possible for a litany of reasons but mostly because it is so beyond the grasp of reality.

turn, turn, turn...

It is interesting to take notice of who cycles in and out of your life on some regular basis. One year later I can't say I'm surprised by the contact and it is a tired routine and a dance I want to end. Rigmarole and bullshit, I'm sick of the routine. I cut my ties, can't you cut yours?

Predictable as always.

--------------------------

On the other hand, I heard from a dear old friend of mine, with whom I have not spoken with in some time. His voice forces a connection to a time when things were simpler, easier and a dream of a tropical island seemed tangible.

Chuck Taylors, hawaiian shirts, Parliament Funkadelic in the park and crickets chirping, all things worth missing.

yeah so, i still exist...

Well, well, well been a long time since I have updated blah blah blah. In the interest of not loosing track of this blog all together I'll give a listed update.

• I love love love not working for Starbucks anymore. I love my new job and the store was doing really well. Unfortunately a fire in a store nearby that we share duct and electrical work with caused a boat load of damage to the store and slowly they are replacing what needs to be replaced and cleaning the clothes etc.
• Went home to Pittsburgh a few weekends ago for a wedding of a childhood friend. It was a beautiful and lovely ceremony. She looked stunning and I wish the newlyweds all the best and I say this without the usual Clare sarcasm, I am really happy and excited for them!
• While I was home I went to a few PBnJ dances. Sad is all I can say about the state of the dancing in Pittsburgh. Even my little sister who knows none of the drama and nothing about blues noticed the low level of the dancing she saw there. I feel like almost all of their problems could be solved if they focused less on getting laid and more on connection and musicality.
• the Scene... I could write a book. I won't do it here, but I will say that I am tired of seeing people older than I am acting like they are in some R rated teen drama about sex and high school hijinks.
• Sandy Faghena - been beaten to death but I'll say... 'twas a prank and an inane harmless one at that... We fooled you, get over it. Granted Sandy did get into some malicious fun, but it wasn't at the expense of any of the members of pghdance
• love life is on track and doing well
• 4th of July - spent it on a rooftop in downtown DC... Was kickass and a memorable 4th. Marion Barry made a cameo appearance. Hilarity.

PLL...

PLL

• Endless scout for cute guys while stuck in the traffic and the rain
• Don't get lost in New Jersey
  
• Dave's misplaced car
• "Dave, why is there a hole... er a lot of holes, in your walls and why don't you have any doors?
• 4 in the back, one in the trunk
• CVS gift pack
• Jello Shots
• Energy?
• Get Your Own Box
• Crotch Sweet
• Shot Mistress Deely
• Welcome Shots
• Make-out Corner
• Canoodling
• "Why are 5 girls in the bathroom together?"
• "I thought you guys had like 90 Jello shots, why are there only 10 left? The party just started"
• Zombie Sleep of Death
• "How did I get on the couch?"
  
• Brunch at Rx
• "THAT is your move"
• The Naughty Librarian
• creepy old lady crush
• "And that is why I'm not getting into the hot tub"
• "No starting gang wars, Clare!"
• "Julie, you've been good, you may start one gang war."
• "I'm taking window privledges away from you."
• ride home
  

DCLX...

So, DCLX was awesome as expected. I had a fabulous time hanging out with friends old and new. I missed my hetero life mate considerably and I can only surmise by the sheer amount of people that came up to me to ask where she was that a lot of other people felt the same way. I did my best to keep her in the loop for the weekend. Calling her at key points of the weekend like when I lost my BSV for 2006 (I have never done a body shot of Dave ever, this year, this month, this week... today??). At the Friday late night BMJB played "Sister Kate" and I wanted to cry when I heard it, however I danced instead. I was happy to learn later, that Gail called Kate and played it for her over the phone.

But aside from missing my other half it was a spectacular event. I still can't get over how amazing the music was this weekend. The BMJB were as close to perfection as possible. I grew up dancing to them and their music alone is a major reason why I still love dancing. Their zeal for the music is so outstanding and inspiring that they have set the standard for me for live music. Friday late night and Saturday with the George Gee Orchestra was unfreakingbelievable. I haven't heard GGO before but now I will make it a priority. The energy those two bands produced was inspiring. If people had started to fly, I don't think I would have been too surprised. Campus 5 on Friday were also superb. I think I might have freaked some people out by how insaneosuperhappyandhyper(andsortofdrunk) that I was the whole weekend, but really awesome music does that to me, I digress.

I don't think I danced as much as I should have, but I had some outstanding dances and the pain in my back proves how out of practice I am. But yay for dances with people who make me feel like someday I could be really really really good at it.

bessa...

The more I sit around and not do anything the more I am acutely aware it does not serve me well. My brain is entirely too overactive. I've been rolling around a number of things in my brain none of which are benefiting from the extensive over thinking I am subjecting them to. The more I think about and redefine what will make me happy the more noticeable the holes are in the blueprint that defines my happiness. I feel like I am caught up in this tumultuous place in between holes where I start thinking "well, if hole A was filled then maybe hole B wouldn't be a problem." I know that I can not get caught up in insecurity, I have to shift my mindset to "With work hole A will take care of itself and so will hole B." There are choices I have to make that are going to be difficult but in the end I think they will be what is best for me and keeping that mantra in mind will be important in the coming weeks.

I never want to be happy with settling. I never want to be stagnant. I want to be ever evolving.

anything...

I've enjoyed the past few days of doing nothing, though I think it speaks to how busy I've been that I can't sleep past 8:00AM and I've become increasingly bored as the week has progressed. While I don't regret quitting my job, I do miss certain aspects of it. Customer service can be a thankless task at times, however, I don't mind it. One life lesson my parents drilled into my head at a young age is that in more cases than not, graciousness will serve you far better than almost anything else. This adage holds true even at Starbucks, if only to get your latte faster.

But now it is on to the next big adventure which includes a through cleaning of my apartment, a new job and a new focus on those few nagging tasks I need to take care of in order to get my life back to a point where I can be ok with it again.

there is probably a Bright Eyes lyric that would make a good title for this entry...

Some of you guys have been asking to see some stuff I've been making/drawing/spending time doing for the past month, so here you go...

perspective study. sad robots rule. Graphite on paper 18"x24"

perspective study. a quick sketch in graphite on paper 8.5"x11"

perspective studies. graphite on paper 8.5"x11"

sketch done in 15 minutes. Graphite on paper 8.5"x11"

illustrator rendition of photo from DJ

a quickr pickr post

so to update...

I've had a really busy few weeks. Stressful, busy weeks. After Crapital Blues life just sort of took off full speed ahead and jumping back into school, while a blessing in many cases has been a harsh reality check regarding the atrophy of my brain. Though with that being said, I've never been one for formal education and I've had to seriously evaluate my ability to force myself to conform into a system that I'd really rather not be bothered with or felt that comfortable in. It is what will be best for me in the end and I'll have to perpetually remind myself that it is just an means to an end.
... And I am eternally grateful for friends that take me out to remind me every once and a while what a good time is.


Kate will be moving soon to California and while I am incredibly happy for her and I think it will be amazing yadda yadda yadda, it bums me out to no end. It's somewhat irrational how sad this is making me considering we haven't lived in the same city for over 5 years, but knowing she will not be within driving distance and that I will have to factor in a time zone difference makes it feel so much further away. I know I'll go visit, but it just seems so so so far. Thinking about it tonight I just became so overwhelmed that I broke down and began to cry. I know I am being irrational and selfish, but Kate is someone whom I value and admire as a person and a friend very much and I will miss her a great deal. Meh! I miss her already and she isn't even gone!

Julia's grandmother passed away recently and while I had not the pleasure of her company for the past year or so, she was an awesome person whose quick wit and huge heart will certainly be missed. Spending time with her, it was easy to see where Julia gets her grace, unending compassion and spirit. I wish I could have been at her funeral to pay my respects and be with Julia, unfortunately school did not permit.

In other news, I think my time at "The Fox" will be over soon. All of my favorite people are leaving the store and there really isn't any motivation (aside from free coffee of course) to want to stay except my overwhelming sense of duty and work ethic. I just feel bad bailing knowing the mess they are in. Plus I need the money, like woah.

To end on a funnier note: Tonight after getting off the metro and waiting for my bus in downtown DC around 10:30PM or so I was approached by a man who kept screaming at the top of his lungs that I was the person who killed his sister. Aside from scaring the shit out of me, he was also peeing and expelling some shit of his own nearby. The Po showed up soon after and for the most part the commotion died down and by that I mean the crazy left. And as the last strains of "THAT BITCH KILLED MY SISTER!" faded into the night air a herd of Spanish speaking midgets trundled past me. Yes, you read that right, a herd. Only in DC.

crotch lead...

Capital Blues has come and gone and again I'm left with the same taste of gross left in my mouth about blues themed events. I can't fault the organizers of this event for their impeccable choice in teachers or music, though I wouldn't qualify Barbra Morrison as blues she was simply amazing. My discontent lies with the behavior that has come to be standard fare at these events. Being from a scene where the dancing has a very distinct sexual undertone, I feel somewhat hypocritical judging others for similar behavior, however; you can't argue that at least the Pittsburghers have style. I would have been happy to at least see the same level of style or musicality present in the endless barrage of crotch leads and beaver clamps I witnessed this weekend, though simply put, I was not so lucky.

I mean, seriously, "micro blues" (what a retarded exercise in semantics) to Barbra Morrison? To a song over 170 beats per minute? What is the point? If I am recalling what Charlie and Heidi teach correctly, that isn't part of their curriculum. I also find the whole concept somewhat contradictory to the exuberance of blues music in addition to finding it somewhat limiting. It has its time and place, none of which are in a brightly lit, vastly open and very crowded ballroom. I know several teachers are out to change how blues dancing is approached and I commend them for it, though I can't help but feel it is an uphill battle. As long as people feel it is acceptable, they will still probably rub their crotch on you.
--------------------------

In other much more personal news...

My motto has become: repair, rebuild, reflect. At the end of the day my life isn't over and I'm happy enough, though still rather disappointed in the turn of events. All I can do is trust in honesty, accept the truth as I know it and look forward to what is waiting in store.

[insert more nebulous rambling about it here...]

snippets...

"I walked a mile with pleasure;

she chatted all the way,

but she left me none the wiser for all she had to say.

I walked a mile with sorrow,

and not one word said she,

but oh the things I learned that day,

when sorrow walked with me."

(not sure who authored the above, but my money is on Dickinson)

I swear, my mother is more emo than me. She sent me that verse tonight in an email and told me that it made her think of me. Not sure what that means, other than she thinks I am a depressed lunatic who likes to walk. Which I suppose at this point isn't too far off from the truth.

She actually told me that she hoped it would cause me to be reflective. Little does she know all I do is reflect, reflect, reflect...


Also my father passed on this snippet or "truism" as he likes to call them:

"If you wait until 'the perfect time' comes along, you'll be waiting forever. No time is ever going to be a good time for a relationship, but having the other person in your life is usually more important than that."

Well, gee. Thanks Dad, I needed that... ugh. I agree with him completely; however, it isn't up to me and I can certainly sympathize with the other half of this situation as well.

Oh well, c'est la vie.